At this point, I want to tell you that GG does not get a series. Yes, he was significant enough to get a part 2, but my intentions with these pieces are different, and I’ll tell you why. My rebound was a good man. Conflicted, abused, and tortured, but a good man nonetheless. I harbor no ill-will towards him, as he was what I needed at that time in my life. I don’t blame him for leaving me, I seriously understand. I became attached too quickly, and relied heavily on his presence to get me through the day. Becoming obsessed is a calling card of being a borderline, and unfortunately it is a recurring theme in my life. Every relationship I have ever had went from 0-100 in what seemed like seconds.
Now that I am single (begrudgingly I might add), I can focus on boundaries. I can explore what it is important to me in a relationship, and what I value in a potential partner. With therapy and reading self-help literature, I somewhat believe that I am capable of setting these boundaries with future mates. If I don’t, I will continue the cycle of falling hard and fast. The love and care will again turn into obsession, and I will ultimately crash and burn like I do every damn time.
When I love someone, I love hard. My feelings are heightened and intense, and you will become my world. I am challenging myself to not allow that to happen. No more all-consuming relationships. No more losing myself in another person. I am my own being, and goddammit I matter. My world consists of me, you, family, and friends. To my future partner? You will not overshadow my world, but I will love you more than anyone else is capable of doing.