Mimsy is the brown-eyed man. I named him Mimsy after we were cuddling on the couch watching South Park. Yes I stole the character name, but we can move past that. I never claimed to be original with nicknames. He called me Laurie Glenn Coco, which has a backstory so ridiculous I don’t even have time to dwell on it. Just know that I loved it, and I beamed every time he called me that.
I met Mimsy during my graduate program. At first I thought he was smug, ugly, and frankly an asshole. He was also quite the metro-sexual, which was so not my type. I typically don’t like a guy that dresses better than me… which unfortunately is a very easy thing to do. His hair was always perfectly in place, his clothes were ironed, and he looked put together. Even though I didn’t find him attractive, I recognized that he had it together. Also, everyone else thought he was attractive, and damn did he love that. He was incredibly full of himself, as he knew that he was admired. But deep down. Deep down Mimsy knew that he had absolutely nothing together, and neither of us was prepared for what happened when we got closer.
The friendship progression was instantaneous. The first few weeks, we fought constantly. Why were we even near each other? We both served on a student board, therefore were forced to interact. I don’t remember how we started hanging out during our free time, but it happened quickly. We went from arguments about philosophical and political opinions, to going out to bars and grabbing a bite to eat with friends after our board meetings. Mimsy was slowly beginning to grow on me, but damn did I still think he was an ugly asshole. He introduced me to others in the program, and some of his personal friends. I quickly became enveloped into his circle of friends, and I weaseled my way into every nook and crevice of his life.
At this point I would like to give some background as to where I was at in my life. I was succeeding in school, I was medicated, and I was in intensive therapy. Was I still drinking? Absolutely. Was I still self-harming? Yes, but only once every few months when something horrible would happen. I still wasn’t over Butthead, and I was tired of being alone. It had been a year since I had any type of relationship with a guy, and I was incredibly lonely. Again, this background is not an excuse for anything I’ve done. However, it does provide insight to my mindset at the time, and what I was thinking to make the decisions that I did. You would have thought I learned my lesson with the married guy. LOL. No, I learned nothing. Mimsy was in a serious long-term relationship, but I never had any intention of crowding in on that… until one day I did.
It was like one day I woke up and was hit in the face with a brick. I thought about Mimsy and said to myself, “hey, he isn’t so bad looking.” “If you squint hard enough, he could even be charming. Maybe the other girls are right.” The more we spent time together, the more I was attracted to him. I had never experienced falling for someone because of their personality, as I am one shallow bitch. But it was a refreshing feeling, liking someone for who they were. Even if who he was, was less then desirable. Don’t get me wrong, he has some amazing qualities. Highly intelligent, experienced, understanding, caring, and most of all helpful. He was a shoulder to lean on, and someone that would lend an ear when you needed one. Lord knows I needed that, so farther and farther I fell. I ignored the more tragic qualities (like being an alcoholic, a liar, a cheater, and selfish). I tend to ignore all the bad associated with the person I’m falling for, as I don’t want it to ruin the fantasy. Eventually I shattered my own fantasy, but we have a long way to go before tragedy strikes.